Are you having more than your usual share of headaches, muscle aches, and backaches? Has your appetite changed? Is your sleep disturbed? They can all be signs that you’re off balance, and not just because of a dodgy pair of heels. What’s going on?
List it. You make two lists: ‘Reasons to Stay’ and ‘Reasons to Leave’. When the ‘Reasons to Stay’ list ends up longer you’re disappointed until you quickly decide that ‘our eyes aren’t the same colour’ is a completely legit reason to leave.
Recognising signs of growing apart in relationships tends that You Stop Having Sex. It’s not a good sign if you and your partner aren’t spending time together in the bedroom.
“Some couples find other forms of intimacy that can replace actual sex,” says psychoanalyst Dr Claudia Luiz over email. “But if there is no sex, no affection, no nurturing, and no intimacy, the relationship will not last.”
You Spend More Time Apart Than Together. It’s not a good sign if you and your partner aren’t spending time together in the bedroom. “Some couples find other forms of intimacy that can replace actual sex,” says psychoanalyst Dr Claudia Luiz over email. “But if there is no sex, no affection, no nurturing, and no intimacy, the relationship will not last.”
Recognising signs of growing apart in relationships tends that You Spend More Time Apart Than Together. “If you notice you’re spending more and more time in separate corners of the house rather than together, this can be a signal that you may be at an impasse with each other,” says relationship psychotherapist Dr Fran Walfish over email.
You Don’t Do Anything New. If you come home, watch TV, go to sleep, and repeat, you’re relationship might be stuck in a rut. No one’s saying you have to go out and be daredevils, but research shows that couples who try new things together are happier together, according to a study from Stony Brook University.
Recognising signs of growing apart in relationships tends You to Criticise Each Other A Lot. “One of the subtle signs of relationship distress is the presence of ongoing personal criticism,” Sheperis.
Reconnecting and rediscovering each other. When you have been together for a while, it’s easy to get “comfortable.” You each have your daily routines and interests. Of course, you both love each other.
Yet, that connection that you first had when you were dating has changed. The passion that you each felt has tempered a little over the years. Of course, that doesn’t mean you both don’t still love each other.
However, it might feel more difficult now to feel connected. If this is a problem for your relationship, there are ways to rediscover a meaningful connection with your partner. Here are some ideas to consider.
Reconnecting and rediscovering each other requires you to Spend Time Together Every Day Before you say, “I’m already booked every day!”, think about this for a moment. In order to have a meaningful connection, you have to spend time with each other. There’s no other way around it.
Why? Because time together means opportunities to share thoughts, ideas, laughs, and other things. Of course, that doesn’t mean you need to spend 6-8 hours with each other every day to make this happen.
Some ideas for spending time together are, for example: Dedicating 30 minutes or so at the start or end of each day to be together. Share coffee in the morning, or drink tea in the evening.
Reconnecting and rediscovering each other requires you to eat lunch together! Is it possible to arrange your schedules so that you can meet up for lunch during the day? That gives you an extra hour a week to connect. Maximising weekends by spending a longer stretch of time in each others’ company.
Having different lengths of together-time spread over the week will help to lay the groundwork for rediscovering a meaningful connection with one another.
Reconnecting and rediscovering each other requires you to become Experts at Resolving Conflicts. Every relationship has conflict. Yet, that doesn’t mean that conflict has to drive you both apart. Couples who are skilled at navigating and resolving conflict will be better able to stay connected.
Note that this is not a skill that occurs overnight. It takes time to master conflict management skills. And that process might involve a few bumps in the road for your relationship.
However, as both of you practice and refine those skills, conflicts don’t have as much of an impact anymore. If you quickly resolve relationship issues, then you can both put it behind you and move forward together.
Life Balance Coaching Holland ParkReconnecting and rediscovering each other requires you to Have Fun Together. When you have fun with anyone, you feel more relaxed and at ease. You have a common bond that is shared through something you do together. This applies to friendships, family, and your partner as well.
Nurturing shared interests and activities. Common interests usually refer to the interests in things, people, or activities that you have in common with your partner. It is assumed that partners who share common interests might get along better with each other as they can understand each other better.
Compatibility, on the other hand, refers to the dynamic that a couple shares. It can exist with or without the couple sharing common interests with each other.
Hobbies. When thinking about Nurturing shared interests and activities or common interests in a relationship, hobbies are the first thing that you can look at. Two people can bond over their specific interests in a particular activity or thing. For example, you and your partner can bond over art if you both are artistically inclined and pursue it to some degree.
Intellectual pursuits. The things that you are interested in intellectually can be a way for you to bond with your partner. Whether it is reading books, watching documentaries, or keeping up with the news, intellectually align a couple and give the couple something to discuss constantly.
Career pursuits. When thinking about Nurturing shared interests and activities or common interests in a relationship, A career and one’s goals in relation to that can bring two people together. You and your partner can work towards your career goals simultaneously and support each other in achieving these goals.
Furthermore, sometimes it is hard for couples with dissimilar career goals to understand each other. They may even get into conflicts because of it. But when the couple is aligned in relation to this, it can be gratifying and validating.
Furthermore, sometimes it is hard for couples with dissimilar career goals to understand each other. They may even get into conflicts because of it. But when the couple is aligned in relation to this, it can be gratifying and validating.
Travel. When thinking about Nurturing shared interests and activities or common interests in a relationship, Some people like to travel, while there are others prefer staying at home. When a couple has their love of travel in common, it can give them something to bond over and plan together.
If two people don’t agree on their travel preferences, it can become a cause for concern, as they may not understand each other’s natural inclinations.
Food and fitness. What are some common interests couples can share? When thinking about Nurturing shared interests and activities or common interests in a relationship, Food and fitness are a big part of one’s life. Whether you are someone who loves food or is a fitness freak, it is nice to have a partner who understands your desires in this department.
Maintaining emotional closeness over time. Openness. Emotionally intimate couples are open and vulnerable to each other. There are no barriers to forcing their partner to break through; they offer their heart and soul to each other without hesitation. To create a vulnerable and open atmosphere in your relationship, you must lead by example.
It would be best if you offered a big piece of yours for your partner to open their heart to you. It will show them that you are willing to put yourself out there, even if it means getting hurt.
Without risking your heart and soul, you won’t experience the most profound connection. You may be protecting yourself by keeping your guard up, but you never really let your spouse or partner into your world.
Maintaining emotional closeness over time requires you to be Honesty and compassionate. Openness can only come through honesty within the relationship. The “it” couple you envisioned at the beginning of this article has learned that over time. When they speak to each other, they do so with a compassionate heart but an honest tongue.
There may be some harsh truths that need to be said, but they can be told in a way that doesn’t crush the other person. The only way to grow closer and truly foster emotional intimacy is by being truthful with one another.
It would help if you led from the front to create an honest and compassionate dialogue with your partner. Coming into the room with agitation and fury will never allow honesty to flourish. Come from a place of empathy and compassion and you will become closer with each conversation.